Between classes, in a locker lined junior high hallway, my three best friends lined up in front of me like a firing squad. They handed me a handwritten letter which they had all signed at the bottom. It was a full page long, and it cataloged all of the reasons they no longer wanted to be my friend. I was out of the group. The bubbly hearts they had drawn in the margins didn’t help to cushion the blow. I was completely crushed, ashamed, and for decades later would fear the day that every new friend I made would decide I wasn’t worth their time.
Friendship is a deep longing we all share, reflecting the way God designed us to experience life in companionship and community and to understand one aspect of our relationship with him. For all of its life giving potential, friendship and the search for friends often leaves us frustrated, fragile, and afraid.
In the life-quake of Motherhood my insecurities bubbled up in unexpected ways, and many surfaced in my friendships. I was afraid I would never make a “mommy friend”. I was afraid my friends without kids wouldn’t stick around through a tough season of exhaustion, post-partum depression, and limited availability. I was lonely, and I was afraid I would always be that way.
God says “Do not be afraid.”
In fact it’s the most repeated command in the Bible. Not “Don’t mess up” or “Get this right” simply “Do not be afraid.” The promise that backs that up is always “I am your God” or “I am with you”.
It was as beautiful as it was terrifying when I took my first step into the freedom of living with God and without fear, and I’m still exploring this wide open space! I can’t wait to tell you all about it. Let’s dive into the messiness and risk of friendship together. We won’t just become friends, we will move one another closer to becoming unafraid.
Fearless Friendship is a 5 day blog post series specifically designed for mothers of young children who orient their values around God’s words- and you are invited to join us this week! Daily posts will arrive in your inbox if you click the black “follow” button on the top right of this page.
Over the weekend, invite some of your friends to join you on this journey by sharing this post on your social media or by email. The Fearless Friendship series posts will run Monday, November 10th through Friday November 14th. Here’s an idea of what to expect.
Thanks for adding your voice, your heart, and your comments to this conversation! We will leave this experience stronger if we can practice the freedom of fearless friendship together. I hope you join us!